Posted by: theoptimisticconservative | January 9, 2012

It’s … Rick Perry versus the GOP field in the Superdome!

Treasured readers know that I think Nick Saban looks like Rick Perry.  Or vice versa.  (Tim Tebow doesn’t look like Rick Perry, just to clear that up.)

I can’t make any of the other GOP candidates look like Les Miles, however.  I can see a little Newt Gingrich in him, and maybe a little Jon Huntsman.  Perhaps just the tiniest scintilla of Mitt Romney.  But definitely no Rick Santorum or Ron Paul.  (Michelle Bachmann was never in the running – just can’t see her in a gnarly old football coach.)

So, in honor of a night on which we have the Allstate BCS Championship Game at the Mercedes-Benz Superdome, and even more Allstate commercials than usual, but absolutely NO Republican debates, herewith a gallery of coaches and candidates.  Choose yer poison. Lay your bets.  Will Saban/Perry tag Miles and the Tigers back, with the narrow win the oddsquad expects?  Or will Les, with a regiment of other GOP candidates perched on his shoulder, make it 2-0 on the Tide this year, sinking the Perry look-alike once again?

One thing we definitely predict:  defense will rule.  The Honey Badger (Tyrann Mathieu) will make big plays.  The offenses mostly won’t.  Let the wild rumpus begin.


Coaches v. Candidates




  1. How can you possible compare Perry to Saban? First, Saban has very shifty eyes and only in recent years can look people straight in the eye for more than a few seconds.

    • I’m sensing an LSU fan here.

  2. LSU will have a stiffer defense this time around with the 3 suspended players not in sync until after the previous game in Tuscalousa (sic but who cares). Jefferson also now in complete sync.

    LSU by 10+

  3. And …. you’re richly deserving Mythical National Champions – one of the most impressive resumes in the history of college football – the Bengal Tigers of LSU!!!! Woot!

    All of those sports writers (most of them quite fanatical in their left wing political orientation – ‘cus like the want to sit at The Big Kids Table) have an absolute obligation to vote LSU #1 in the A.P., quite obviously irrespective of the outcome of the game.

    Alabama can win and get the bottom half of a split but cannot possibly hope to match the magnitude of the Bengali accomplishments.


    • The Mild Cats at least had a short ride home.

  4. Tigers have been whomping the snot out of themselves so far. Can we have a few more fumbles, please? But give the Tide their due: they’re getting good pressure on Jefferson and plugging up the run.

    If only either team had an offense.

  5. I think Alabama is going to win this game. It’s hard to beat a team that good twice in one season. I predict a shutout. Say, 21-0. I can’t wait for the game to start…

    • Congrats to the Crimson Tide.

      I’m pretty upset with Miles for not putting in Jarrett Lee early on. Jefferson was horrible for the beginning. Not saying that LSU would have won, but at least they would have had a chance.

  6. Yep, Alabama won. OSU could have beaten either of these teams.

    • Speaking with your heart J.E. ?
      If Stanford, OSU, LSU and Alabama played a plus 4, it would have been LSU/Tide again.
      It appeared to me LSU was not fired up to play a team they had already beaten on their home field. But on the other hand, the Tide kicker did his job this time.

      • I don’t think so. Alabama would have been a lot harder to beat last night, but OSU has the offensive tools to make the pass rush lose that all-important half step by making them respect the run. LSU doesn’t. Weeden also has a much better arm than Jefferson. Or McCarron, for that matter.

        I would definitely agree that preparing for the D of either SEC team would have required an adjustment for OSU. Weeden is accustomed to good protection and more time in the pocket than either QB was getting last night. Big 12 defenses don’t generally have the same steamroller quality on the pass rush. But Weeden has enough power among his skill players to force the D to think about the run, or about other receivers besides Blackmon, or about the possibility of a screen pass breaking for 30 yards rather than a 30-yard Air Weeden special to the sideline — if, that is, the offense has been prepared properly. The question would have been whether it was, I think.

        Meanwhile, both SEC teams’ offenses were clearly containable by a well-prepared defense. If either of them had a Stanford or OSU offense, they’d be unbeatable by anyone, because they could marry up scoring with preventing-scoring. But they don’t.

        • Strength of schedule shows that no team outside of the SEC would have a shot at winning against either Bama or LSU.

          Just be being in the SEC West, this year, is comparable to any playoff format conceived.

          Oregon? Arkansas? or even WV?

          • Please don’t get me started on the Oregon Midget Duckies Arena Football/Sparklers on their helmets/run the same sweep everytime/so called football team.
            LSU took care of that brand some months ago. Thanks Les!

        • OSU couldn’t run on Stanford. Stanford lit OSU up in several different ways. Their kicker makes it in regulation, we are not having this conversation.
          Alabama or LSU would have run all over the OSU D. The bend but don’t break D would have been bend and bust.
          Lest you think this is sour grapes from an OU fan. Either SEC team would have beaten OU by 40 in their present state.
          Martinez (secondary coach for OU) is gone. Make room for Mike Stoops. It is a done deal.
          I love football!!!!!!! Can you write about football year round????? There is always something going on. How about it????
          I repeat, the Israeli pro league plays until May. I bet the Israeli/Palestinian Super Bowl would have some interesting highlights.

  7. Still waiting for the game to start, however.

  8. Pathetic kitties!!!

    Luckily the two deep is coming back on offense plus their best O lineman who missed the season and a red shirt freshman who was the #1 O line recruit in the nation last year.

    Two deep D line bak almost all the entire D-Backfield. LSU strong pre-season #1 and plays depleted Tide at home.

    The bad news is the Sooners finished with the lowest ranking of a pre-season #1 since 1967. The good news is they will be at least a consensus Top 7 pick, quite possibly (probably?) Top 5 and will be in some Top 3s. Can go undefeated if not as worthless as this year.

    • Best of all there is likely to be a meaningful and possibly dramatic improvement at QB. If the much bigger and stronger-armed Zack Mettenberger can play QB at the level of A.J. McCarron, kitties should be unstoppable.

      • By some accounts Mettenberger was a good bit better than Lee or Jefferson in both running and passing at the 2010 Spring Game. He can also look for receivers downfield and played against the 1st team defense, whereas Jefferson on played against the 2nd team defense.

  9. OC errs. LSU did not show up and were badly outplayed and outcoached. Failure to put Lee in at 15-0 inexplicable.

    Still, both teams would have absolutely run all over OSU like Barak Obama over the Constitution. OSU would have scored against both teams and actually matches up better vs. Alabama’s (relative to LSU) slower defense.

    There is an enormously compelling argument that OSU had the more impressive resume and was the much more deserving opponent for LSU but they cannot be said to have been the better team.

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